Today, we remember St. Ephrem who was both Deacon and Doctor of the church. A man born a Christian at Nisibis somewhere around the year 306. He was ordained a deacon and exercised his office throughout his country and Edessa, where he founded a school of Theology. Never relaxing his ministries of preaching and writing books to confute the errors of his day, he died some time in 373.

Looking at one of his sermons, here is a man clearly seeing the beauty of wisdom and desire to be of the spirit like the Lord Jesus.

Here are some excerpts:

Lord, shed upon our darkened souls the brilliant light of your wisdom so that we may be enlightened and serve you with renewed purity…

Teach us to find our joy in your favor! Lord, we have within us your memorial, received at your spiritual table; let us possess it in its full reality when all things shall be made new…

Savior, your divine plan for the world is a mirror for the spiritual world; teach us to walk in that world as spiritual men…

I found the process to have been the most unique experience I’ve ever encountered. On the drive home, Julia mentioned to me, that I should write a blog entry about it, so here I go.

Friday, we arrived around 11:30am and the first thing was to deliver our 5 page essay. It was a labor of love for sure, because it was going to be a large factor in our overall evaluation. I want to say, everything experienced about this weekend was–in my view–to relax us.

My exam group talked for awhile, each sharing their lecture observations and pastoral experiences over the last year. We then broke up for awhile, for some independent study and reflection. Prayer was certainly central for me and perhaps everyone else.

It was an anxious time for me, despite being told that the faculty was there to help us. For me, I just felt that “self-imposed” pressure to do well. I think this is because I know how hard they must have worked preparing for and instructing us. So, you feel this need deep inside, to reciprocate the effort in kind. It wouldn’t be until after midnight, that I would finally lay down to sleep. Even at that, I awoke early the next morning with my mind swimming in thought and images.

Getting up to shower, I left for an early walk along the beach. A particularly gray morning, but it didn’t seem to matter as I prayed. The birds chirping and gentle breeze, I felt the Lords presence which seem to say, “Al, move what you’ve learned from your head to your heart…”

You know, it made perfect sense, and as I read over the questions, my answers flowed from my heart and I felt peaceful.

As I started up the staircase and I ran across my friend Salvador. We chatted a moment and I asked him, “Como se dice–to speak from the heart–en espanol?”

He replied, “Hablar con el corazon..”

I knew that was my theme and how I would respond. Head to Heart, that term in discernment called, “affectivity”.

My group prayed together before going into the Library, where our synthesis would take place. It was comfortable and I think we all began to relax. Soon, our stories would come out and I would be amazed at how well each complimented the other. The time that I first thought would be impossible to fill with content, was actually filled with plenty.

They gave us a small review that let us know what they liked about our presentations, and we were given the rest of the day to relax and enjoy. I took another walk along the beach just to be outside, but instead found myself immersed in prayer, thanking God for the experience of our Aspirancy year and seeking his blessing on the remaining Aspirants undergoing their synthesis. I wanted to be close by and supportive of them.

Looking back over the year, I learned much about myself and my classmates. We formed a community and in many ways, became closer through this experience. Maybe a better picture would be a piece of fabric woven and pulled tighter and made stronger and colorful. Our time in prayer and study revealed much about each of us as children of God, and how he works in and through us bringing love about and sharing it with others. We learned what our presuppositions reveal about us. How by our own admission, “what we don’t know” in fact leads us to the gate and opportunity of learning. How these new “starting points” are absolutely necessary if we are to grow.

So, as we all separate to enjoy a brief moment of summer respite, my prayer is for you all be safe in your summer recreation of mind and spirit and relax.

I look forward to our gathering for our August retreat.

Peace and Blessings,

Tonight we prepare for our presentation and synthesis of our Aspirancy year. We heard a sample of what to expect from our professors. They were given a question to talk about and in the same format we’ll see tomorrow. Pretty interesting indeed. I feel much better now.

We just wrapped up the 2nd group study time block. I think at this point we’re as ready as we’ll ever be. I know if this is God’s purpose for me, the door will open. I’m more than okay with that. It’s been a wonderful experience and I learned a lot about discernment and how to make the best possible decision for me and my family.

I feel nothing but gratitude for the gifts God has given me.

Christ Jesus, lead me along the path you’ve ordained. Bless our class and faculty, and may your will be done.

Amen.

When I was accepted into the formation program, I wanted to have a place for our class to talk about things going on with the discernment period or aspirancy path. I tried Yahoo groups, then Facebook. Both were okay but the thing that bothered me were all the requests I was flooded with. Some good, but others distracting. I envisioned a place where we’d have some good discussion leading to growth. But, I couldn’t get over the thought that any moment, the site could be sold, transferred or otherwise exploited.

Then this idea occurred to me and was obvious. I have maintained my blog here on my own and little to no hassle at all. I like sharing my experiences here because I never know who I will reach or how it will affect them. I leave how this comes about to God. My answer was a “discussion” forum. I like forums for the one reason, they bring like minded people together. There are forums for every topic and have been very helpful when I want to learn something or share something I’ve learned. This case is no different.

A couple weeks ago, I attended the ordination of 5 new deacons in our Archdioceses. It was something I will never forget. It stirred up feelings of humility, brotherhood and solidarity. It had me asking, “What could I do to help, to be of service?” My mind churned with possibilities as I pondered different ways to help these brothers in Christ.

Well, this is it. I have brought online a new community and have called it, “Deacons Path.”  I did this because I think the path to “diakonia” never ends.

The location is: http://www.deaconspath.com

The scope is regional, national and global. Seeking to serve Catholic Deacons where ever they minister.

I am looking forward to your visit.

Peace of Christ be with you all.

Last Sunday marked the end of our first “academic” year. When Father mentioned this, a whole range of thoughts and feelings came over me. I thought of the beginning, the middle and now the end. There were many opportunities for growth that can be paralleled with the happenings in the world right now. Being the “aspirancy” year, it was all about discernment-making better choices. We began to separate our “wants” into our “needs” and do you know what? I found we can get by with less. It’s a humbling experience.

Do we make good choices? Have you thought about this more deeply?

It’s reflecting, praying, assembling facts, seeking advice and experiencing a resonance within your heart that says, “yes” this is what I want to do, it’s right, wholesome and feels good to my soul. But it’s not without moments of indecision, fear and doubt. What I found is that these are only signs and elements of discernment, and it’s okay to experience them. They are not signs of unfaithfulness as many would think. Discernment is a cycle, it’s never-ending.

What’s left for us (our class) now is our Synthesis weekend. I mentioned this before. Last night, my wife and  I gathered with friends and talked about the questions. It was enlightening how this worked out. We complimented each others responses by filling in soft spots in our answers. I was moved by the reflections each shared and they helped to bring my own to a fuller expression.

That’s what it’s been like all year: New experiences, reflections, honesty with ourselves and others, discernment and finding the path to wholeness. It’s true what the others who’ve gone before us said, “It’s a journey. One that changes you as you begin to place yourself in the hands of the Almighty, you accept the outcome no matter what it is. And, you know deep in your heart, you are better than you were when you began the walk, to take that path..”

I’m thankful for this opportunity and continue to pray to know and understand God’s purpose for me and pray for each of my fellow aspirants, that our path be opened and a new journey begin.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the end of this formation year. It’s hard to believe we are on the cusp of Synthesis weekend. It’s been an amazing journey thus far. One that’s revealed more about me than I expected. It’s revealed the nature of true brotherhood in Christ, and amongst ourselves. I found myself drawn into deeper contemplation, and this was both surprising and pleasing to me.

Wrapping up the year with one last series of lectures, we will begin to formalize our thoughts, attempting to make a coherent statement of our experience thus far. It’s a somewhat anxious moment for me and I’m sure for the rest of my class. I just cringe at the thought of letting them down. I am preparing by studying as hard as I possibly can, but also finding that it’s not so much about study–as it is about reflecting. Or as my Pastor says, thinking “homiletically” which I think really means, conversationally–to be conversational about it.

I do believe that Jesus and the prayers of countless saints, will be with us.

I must get back to the finishing touches of my papers, but promise  to return after the weekend to give an update. Please keep us in your prayers.

Thank you.

So much has happened since Easter. Let me start with our last formation weekend. We enjoyed two sessions from Deacon Owen Cummings. The Deacon gave a bang up job on 2 lectures being “Faith and Reason” and the topic of Discernment. Both were great! The lectures on pastoral ministry and public speaking were spot on as well. We visited a “L’Arche which means “The Ark” out in Tacoma. It was a reminder that the often marginalized few are forgotten but through generosity and loving hearts, people give them a place to be all they can be. I truly feel blessed to have been able to visit and hear their story.

In other news, in the Archdioceses of Seattle, there were 5 new Deacons ordained. We were provided a rare opportunity to see them make both their oath of fidelity and profession of faith during our morning prayers. After witnessing that, I just had to follow-up this experience by accepting the invitation to their Rite of Ordination this last Saturday. I took many pictures, but perhaps the most touching was the Litany and the most inspirational, was the welcoming of the new Deacons into the Order of Deacons by their brothers.

We have another Formation weekend with lectures, then Syntheis weekend in June. Lots to ponder, so the whole class can use your continued prayers.

Thank you to all those following my journey. As this 1st year comes to an end, pray that my journey leads onto the path of Candidacy.

Peace.

What a glorious day!

Despite the wonderful Puget Sound weather, it’s a beautiful day in the history of humanity. Yes, despite the rain, it is glorious, because God in his awesomeness, came to earth to reconcile us to himself in the person of Jesus Christ. Despite the cruelty of humanity, he was triumphant in that he rose from the dead because death cannot hold him. Yes, the tomb is empty, and as the world then and does now, find this in amazement. But Jesus challenges us because we are not to be amazed, we are to believe. And, blessed are those of us living today, who believe without seeing the miracles!

Yes, Jesus blesses us that choose on our own, to believe in him and the One who sent him. Despite it not being the most pragmatic approach, we are to approach the risen Savior as like “children,” with a child like faith. I am so excited that Jesus has touched my soul well over 2000 years later and has begun this great work in me. This transformation of mind and body, to be configured to him, in service to my brothers and sisters in him.

“Rejoice and be glad, for this is the day that the Lord has made!”

He has Risen!

Jesus the Christ, the King of my heart.

Thank you my Lord.

You know, I love tradition. Family traditions are something to cherish and are vital to the integrity of the family. We began our tradition of attending the Easter Vigil well over 20 years ago. There’s just something about waiting for that moment when something monumental is about to change your life forever.

This took on a whole different meaning for me when I made the decision at a Ministry Fair 5 years ago when I was invited to become an Altar server. I mean, I was forty-something but it was something I always wanted to do, even as far back as my childhood. But as a grown man, it felt kind of weird to be honest. But the gentleman who invited me, was much older than I, so who was I to say no due to age? Well, I am here to tell you, it’s changed my life in so many ways.

Last year, I was taken a bit deeper into this ministry by learning the role of master of ceremonies. It challenged me to grow in understanding and awareness of what was happening around me. As I served in this role during Holy Week in 2008, this year in 2009 was sort of a farewell tour. As I wrap up this formation year, I will be challenged to reflect on this year, but also lay down this ministry to take up another. Oh, I will serve when called to, but next year, the challenge will be to develop as a reader. I am excited to see where the Lord leads me.

So in reflection, the role of MC was great, and allowed me to grow in my relationship with my community and Our Lord.  This Easter Vigil was a special moment for me, because I was able to celebrate the Rising of the Lord with the people I love so dearly. I praise God for his work began in me, and look forward to my continued configuration to Christ.

Happy Easter and May the Peace of Christ be with you all.

“They buried the Lord and sealed the tomb by rolling a large stone in front of it.

– They stationed soldiers there to guard it…”

We keep silence because our King is asleep….

“The Chief priests asked Pilate for a guard.

– They stationed soldiers there to guard it…”

God died in the flesh and all hell trembles in fear…

We wait in vigil for the coming of our Savior.